The 4 essential steps to defining your personal truth, finding positivity, and individual identity

So many people feel lost because they feel like they don’t know who they are.
Lost in a sea of stimuli, how do you construct the identity that gives you a springboard into a life and experiences that are customized to you?

You find yourself through the seeking of peace, gratitude, and internal analysis introspection. Notice I didn’t imply anything about conclusions or judgments. The reason I did this, is because clarity will come to you and it will not be ambiguous.

The steps below will allow you to find and gather the blocks that can allow you to begin to define you as a unique being. Through finding your uniqueness you will own your own freedom, independence, and passion that will give you the meaning you search for.

You must approach all of this as a judgement free zone.

Let’s begin.

Find things that make bring you joy

Taking little moments to bring joy to your life draws a map to passion and purpose. In addition to that, it plugs you into your true power because it brings you fully and unrestrictedly into the present moment. The complete immersion into the present moment unlocks hidden clarity and release that allows you to become all of who you are.
During this process as more joy flows through you, take a seat and observe who you are in this moment. How does it feel? What thoughts do you have? Take silent note of the process of your getting there, and hone in on that feeling of that joy state. Both of these are critical to how your internally and externally define your identity.

Find things that activate gratitude

Joy and gratitude are defiantly linked and work together, but they are not necessarily the same thing. Gratitude is a frequency that is powerfully linked with relaxation, release, and flowing. When you are in this state you unknowingly become who you are in a more existential, selfless, blissful state. The kind of “peace that passes all understanding” is defiantly a component of being in a state of gratitude.
Gratitude activates a flow state which allows you to be more at peace to activate those feelings, actions, and emotions that you find holding to yourself. Internal and external barriers start to vanish and the feelings and emotions of who you are begin to step forward with no shame or judgment.

Gratitude for who you have always been:

What thoughts, ideas, and actions come to you without any personal restriction or judgements? Think of how your life has gone so far, and of how it is now? Aside from the external forces that were there, what feelings and thoughts did you constantly have and why? Identifying these patterns and trends is key to understanding your identity over time as a separate whole from the things swirling around you throughout your life. This construct of who you have been is important to your life journey, but who you are now and in this moment, is your true identity.

Gratitude for who you are now:

In addition to providing the best takeoff for introspection into who you are, gratitude is also great for giving identity to who you are now and in the future. Yes, you have always been “who you are,” but the present is the cutting edge between past, present, and future. From the duality that makes you a conscious being, you can always change who you are, and more importantly how you reflect who you are to the world. Gratitude immerses you in the present and helps you decide who you want to be now.
Gratitude can illuminate the things that you are grateful for as well as the things that matter to you. The things that matter to you are clues to the places where your heart truly lies and finds its joy. From gratitude in the present moment, you can see the things that define who you are in this moment. This identity is a great jumping place to start from to move forward in a direction that resonates with your heart and soul.

Find out how you approach the world around you

How you interact and approach the world around you is an important component of how you identity yourself because it addresses the relationship between self and “outside” of self. Yes your connection to source is individual and you have individual control of your energy, but you cannot deny that we are all together in one reality and energy field. This field is made of all of us and how you plug into it says a lot about you. Do you look at things around you to tell you who you are, or do you internally decide? Most people find that they are a mixture of both, and that is very ok.

By determining how you relate to the world around you, you can begin to draw conclusions of your values and character and from there how you choose to express those energies into your reality and world. You will begin to demystify the essence of you and how you choose to transform that essence into something the world around you can see and experience with you. This is the beginnings of living your passion by showing others their own joy and passion. How you choose to use your energy and power is a dynamic portion of who you are as an independent conscious person in the world.

Find what things you find yourself thinking about a lot

Thoughts do not define you, but they make a big impact on views of yourself and the environment around you. This one will involve some introspection, but is essential to understanding the internal structures that make up your identity. As Earl Nightengale said “We become what we think about.”
As you begin to take in this wonderful journey of becoming yourself, take a neutral observation of yourself in daily life. What thoughts are randomly running through your mind all day? Take silent note of what these thought are directly about, but pay just as much attention to the energy and internal conclusions about those thoughts. Collectively think about what umbrellas of meanings those thoughts fall under. Are the thoughts about having transcendental experiences such as helping others, about writing music, or about drawing art work? Are they about all those obstacles you think you have in your life such as your parents, money, that mean person at your job, all the things out of your control?
These thoughts control your actions and choices in the world. Don’t worry if it reveals your constant pain and negativity. There is no power in judgment and pain, only in clarity and solution. Your thoughts are not you, they are a function of you and can be leveraged you our benefit.
By acknowledging what you think about, it will become clear how it relates to who you and how you define yourself. And most of all, if you don’t like something, or you have thoughts that give you pain, just step outside yourself and move to other less painful thoughts. That may sound counterproductive, but it is the only way to remove the negative blockages that can prevent you from fostering the pure thoughts and feelings from the essence of who you are.


Identity does not construct you as a separate being all alone, but identifies you as a unique influential component to the universal puzzle.

By becoming the whole and all of who you are, you become unlock the door to yourself and the freedom to truly be a part of the world around you.

Use the construction of your identity as the springboard into you passionate, fruitful, future.

Much love and light to you.


Evidence that forgiveness is the best revenge for others and gift to yourself

Lurching back in anger at those that hurt you does not give you power.

Never has, never will. Sorry.

Now that doesn’t mean you allow things to go on as they were?

No, of course not.

You can move forward from the experience with forgiveness, clarity, and truth into better things.

Yea, yea yea. But what does that look like?

Process for moving forward after hurt and trauma

  1. Acknowledge what happened and live in the feeling.
  2. After validating yourself and accepting the feelings, recall the event with facts and details. As many as you can remember.
  3. Piece together the facts, aside form your feelings and access what happened.
  4. Now that you have the facts in order without feelings clouding judgement…

What is the best logical way you can stop this from happening again?

  1. Once you have this, write the overarching name of your solution down on a piece of paper.
  2. Below the name of the solution write this sentence, or something close, underneath.

“The way I feel about this is real. And I am moving forward with peace and knowledge. I validate my hurt and pain by having the strength and clarity to make sure that it doesn’t happen again and I do not punish myself any longer.”

If you feel the urge to scream or cry as you write this, let it happen and be free of judgment.

In this moment forgive yourself for causing yourself internal pain from someone else’s reflection of pain onto you. Take as long as you need.

  1. An inch or two below that sentence, think of 3-5 main things that prevent what happened from reoccurring? These can be abstract as you want them to be.
  2. For each of these 5 things, think of 3 or more ways you could work toward this in daily life. Keep in mind there is no “small” things; as it heals and moves toward a solution, it is a big step.
  3. Continue to breakdown your goals as much as you feel you must.


You have drafted a framework to move forward and fix a painful huge problem in your life.

You have literally moved a mountain out of your life.

The power within you makes the earth rejoice for you. 😊

*** Important Tidbit:

Do not judge yourself for not knowing how to fix it back then, you were doing the best you could at the time. That guilt is all released and finished now.


Once you are at this point, you can begin enacting your master plan.

I have no doubt you will be stunned at how much this improves your inner world. This framework for action will also improve your relationship with the external world, something that suffers greatly as a result of trauma and pain.

You will first hand experience the quote “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look will being to change.”

You being in a better more peaceful state of working toward fixing your painful situation, will transform the way that you solve other problems as well. You will no longer be living in a labyrinth of pain and sorrow and reactivity.

You have taken your power back into your own hands. A big responsibility, but one you can handle.

You have forgiven, developed a solution, and have moved on into power, action and peace.

But what about the other person……………..

Well to be honest, it’s not about them and it never has been, not even internally with you. Even though it was them that cause the pain, you often internalize the shame of the pain that was not even your fault.

Even though you’ve moved on, it is normal to ask what will happen to the other party. It’s ok.

The victory over them and over the pain, is the internal forgiveness and clarity of an outward solution.

Here are 6 concrete reasons why forgiveness is the best revenge of all to the malicious party as well as the pain that continues to harm you long after.


  1. You no longer need validation for how you feel

Get into it:

Name some situation that made you question who you are? Even though that was a long time ago, does it still steal your time and thoughts?

The real question:

Why do you need permission to feel?


  1. You do not engage in their “game” anymore. You see things for what they are.

Get into it:

Think of things, or situations that you know are bad, but you continuously do them? Why do you feel you have to consistently put yourself in that pain or in that danger?

The real question:

Why would you make yourself willingly suffer if you know the truth and the solution?


  1. You will find the peace they can never find

Get into it:

Think of someone who reaches out to others to cause pain? Will they ever be happy for find peace that way? Or even stop having to do that to others?

The real question:

When you know you have given your all and tried all within your power, doesn’t that give you rest even if it didn’t work out? Is that internal personal satisfaction important to you?


  1. You will be the truth that their façade will never have

Get into it:

Think of a person who smiles in your face and later showed jealous and malicious behavior later? Why would they act like something they are not?

The real question:

Doesn’t genuineness, originality, and honestly draw more people of the same way to you? Doesn’t that give you indescribable confidence to be loved and appreciated for who you actually are?


  1. Others will respect and love you in a way that no one can with them

Get into it:

Think of someone that acted nice, but you felt an immense strangeness about it. IT wasn’t something you could see and put your finger on, but you felt it. Even if that person had never done anything to you, isn’t it hard to bond with that person because you are unsure of energetically what is going on?

The real question:

Letting past experiences and energies suck the life from you steals your radiance from living with others in the present. Doesn’t being genuine and involved make those around you are more open to opportunities, and connections with you?



It is normal to want to rage against the pain and unjust things that have happened to you, but by reacting without thinking is blinding you to an even bigger solution.

The steps mentioned above are going to allow you to validate your own feelings and who you are. From there they will take you on a journey of clarity, self discovery, and taking action to help yourself and possibly others.

The six enormous benefits to this are listed above as to why this is so important and rewarding.

You must understand that you are the key to your own solution. You don’t need anyone.


Much love peace and happiness.


Credit for featured Image: Markus Gebauer

How do you learn and teach the power of forgiveness to yourself and others?

You feel crippled and crushed by the pain someone else caused you.

The pain feels so bad that you have the urge to reach forth in anger and strike. You now intend to cause the same pain you felt. You believe that will validate your hurt.

Loved ones, this is the exact opposite of the truth.

Hurting them will not alleviate your pain and suffering, because pain is not the solution to pain. It never has been.

Or maybe you’re more low-key. You don’t try to go out and hurt that person, you just hold the pain and hurt until it festers into resentment and anger.

Instead of lashing out, you internalize the feeling and attempt to bury them. This is equally as bad.

Lets explain the effects of both paths.

Outward Violence Internalization/Resentment
·         Does not relieve any internal pressure

·         Often cause harm to uninvolved people

·         Releases bad energy onto others that always comes back to you eventually.

·         Makes you feel pain for causing others pain, even if they did it to you first.

·         Internally makes you feel just like the person who hurt your originally

·         Makes it harder to develop yourself and evolve because you are fixated on past occurrences and setbacks

·         Forces you to cover up open emotional wounds. Dividing you from alignment and peace.

·         Internalized pain bleeds into other parts of your life, making everything unhappy.

·         Creates a void in you that makes you feel incomplete, lost, and depressed

·         Loss of energy thinking about a bad situation consciously and subconsciously.

·         Past hurt blinding you to your future possibilities.


It is clear both of these paths lead to internal and external misery.

But what is next?

You. You are human just as all others. Meaning you already have the answer. You already know how to move forward.

Logically, and internally you know the next logical step is to forgive and move on. It’s the only way to stop giving away your power and grow.

The way to learn how to forgive is to understand what it is to be conscious, human, and to love.

But how do you do that? Especially if you are blinded by anger?

By seeking understanding your conscious relationship with yourself, others, and the world around you, you will open the door to your ability to forgive.

Now forgiveness does not excuse bad behavior, or mean that you just allow someone keep hurting you.

What forgiveness means it that you will accept the past, no longer give them or the situation your energy, and swiftly lovingly move on to the next step for you.


Below there are 6 ways to learn forgiveness through 6 simple exercises of internal reflection. Only by looking at yourself will you no longer see rash causes and effects; you finally see the whole picture through understanding and clarity.

By seeing the whole picture, you can use the principles of universal love and joy, to teach yourself how to forgive.

Not for them but for you, so that you can release yourself from the chains on you.

The 6 Exercises have the theoretical purpose then the exercise below to get you thinking and analyzing.

  1. Dishonesty, even with the best intentions, is still lying. Balance the two in yourself and in others.

Exercise: Think of a time you said softened the truth not to hurt someone’s feelings. It doesn’t change what happened, but you know you meant the best. How does that make you feel?

Mantra: I am equally honest, truthful and gentle.

  1. Everyone has that thing that takes them over the edge. Can you judge them for it?

Exercise: Think of what triggers you and why? How do you live with these? How do you forgive yourself if you snap.

Mantra: My past hurt will not impact my present and future.

  1. More often than not, some bad circumstances have great outcomes.

Exercise: Think about a time something horrible happened, but something good came at the end.

Mantra: Everything is always working out for me.

  1. Everyone has shortcomings, it doesn’t make them inhuman or incomplete.

Exercise: Think about all of the things you wish you could do better. Do you still accept yourself anyways?

Mantra: Imperfection does not mean incompleteness.

  1. Somethings can be out of anyone’s control. Learn to live with that and don’t play the blame game.

Exercise: Think of a situation you went into with best intensions, but it still didn’t work out.

Mantra: I change what I can and understand what I cannot.

  1. People can only enact what they are taught in most cases. Be considerate of a person’s background.

Exercise: Think of something that weighs heavy on your soul. Does it give you a bias against certain things and situations?

Mantra: My emotions and logic are equal and in balance.



Staying angry does 5 main things:

  • Steals your energy
  • Gives more anxiety and stress
  • Pinches you off from internal love and peace
  • Affects your ability to think clearly
  • Robs you of your self love/value

Staying angry is hard. But forgiveness is easy! You do it with yourself everyday and you already know how to. Treat others as if they are another side to you; with care and understanding.

You, and others, are doing the best they can with what they have. They are people, not flat 2-D cardboard cut outs.

If someone is continuously out to hurt you, forgive them still because the pain inside them has to tearing them up for them to be willing to keep trying to validate their pain by inflicting it on you.

But one more thing……

Just as you forgive others, forgive yourself for

  • Takes time to forgive
  • Allowing the painful situation to even occur

Remember that we are all a part of each other and more alike than we are different.

Through forgiving and understanding, you and others will receive clarity and peace.

Much love, peace, and happiness to you.



4 ways emotional trauma changes and affects memory and mental clarity

Yes the past is the past, and it cannot be changed.

But emotional memories that began the past, often do very much affect your present.

No matter what it could have been, do you find yourself feeling that situation more than recalling what actually happened?

The reason I ask that is because the emotion sometimes makes it harder to see the truth in a situation. Keep in mind by truth I do not mean right or wrong, just a neutral account of a situation.

You might think, it’s just one thing. As long as you’re not triggered you should be fine right?

No necessarily so.

When certain painful memories are not processed and remain in a cloud of unsettled emotions, it often creates confusion and inferences about not only that situation, but also emotions and situations similar.

Some of the confusion of that situation literally is so enormous, and at a critical time in your development that the residual begins to define all similar or related memories.

A dirty lens on your life

Science has proven several times that your mental state upon approaching the world profoundly changes the way you interact with it. Holding back internal pain from spilling forth puts you in a state of significant agitation and anxiety constantly.

And you may not thing you’re doing that at first, but if you peel back the layers to the pain you’re carrying around, you are constantly trying to cover it up. Which is understandable; it is your emotions for you to deal with.

This level of internalized pain and heartache changes your memory of the past and present. You then in your haste, shove cloudy residual emotion into a cabinet within your mind with an intention to forget.

You may think you forgot, but in most cases you’ll find that you haven’t. It’s still there.

By constantly using parts of your brain power to “look ok,” you are taking away part of your short term and longer term memory power.

Proof of this can be shown in thousands of cases of Depression. In the times of severe episodes, the subject has trouble remembering significant short term and long term memories because they are in cloud of unresolved emotion that fogs up their brain.

Memory can change everything from your educational potential, to your relationships, to the way you interact with yourself.

Memory can make or break in your life, and by harboring emotional trauma, it is clearly impacted negatively. This gives you a faulty foundation on which to life your life.

You now will learn the way that unresolved emotional trauma’s can effect directly your memory of the situation as well as daily living.


Short Term Memory: Easy triggering

They reminded you of that one time? Right?

Someone does something to you, immediately you feel an emotional flashback of something from childhood or even 3 years ago. How do you react? You probably will quickly find yourself overreacting.

But who can fault you? You are looking out for yourself. You couldn’t let what happened last time happen again.

But did it happen again? This isn’t the same time period, people, or setting. Why did you think of that?

Also, do you remember what the person did to make you react clearly, or was it a blanket statement like “they disrespected me”? Do you remember how did they do that?

Probably not. And it’s ok.

Emotional trauma will often cause you to act sometimes rashly because certain short term memory will be clouded by the perceived emotion that this person made you feel. Instead of someone you know now, your short term memory of this person is erased and you are taken to way back when.

This memory oversight causes you to completely become triggered.

This clearly can cause mountains of unnecessary drama, violence, and sadness in your life through unnecessary altercations with others.

Get into it [Probing questions]

Think of a time when someone made you furiously angry and you wanted to fight them. Write down a summary of what they did in 2-3 sentences. Write 4 feelings that were associated with that situation throughout it’s unfolding. After that, list 3-4 situations in your past that include those same emotions. Assess how they relate to the most recent one and determine if your anger was well founded. Do this as many times as you need.


Short Term/Long Term Memory: stunted emotional processing

It’s just one more thing!

It seems like everything just floods you at once, even if it might seem like a small situation to others. It feels like the weight of the world to you because it is added on top of the massive cloud of unresolved emotions to process and let go.

There is so much that has yet to be worked out. How can you work out something so small in comparison to the rotting mountain of sadness, unforgiveness, and resentment you already have?

Emotional trauma will cause you to not think clearly enough to resolve short term situations that come in your life; you just “won’t want to deal with them.” Of course you have a right to do so if it has nothing to do with you, but if it does directly involve you it is your responsibility to at least try and move forward.

Latent emotional trauma will cloud the specifics of the problem making it feel like it is not solvable and therefore not worth the work. Next you react in not-thought-out behavior to make it go away as fast as possible.

It puts you in survival mode at all times.

Get into it [Probing questions]

Think of an unresolved situation that is going on in your short term life. Write down your summary of what happened in 2-3 sentences. Then try to write 8 facts about the situation; cold hard facts. Can you remember them? Then write you the feeling that you feel. Make an assessment and see if all these three pillars of information add up properly.

Long Term Memory: difficult learning new things

What did your traumatic memory teach you about yourself and people? How do those teachings apply to your now?

You many answer that with theoretical answers, but make it more concrete.

What’s something that you tried your hardest to learn, but despite all of your efforts could not. You started off doing great, over time things threw you off, and then later you just completely gave up.

You most likely gave up because you had an internal belief similar to the following: “I can’t do this,” “This is hard for me,” “I’m not good at this.” This was developed at the 2nd-3rd sign of trouble at the beginning of the learning process. From then on, when you saw anything similar to that subject, you would forever suck at. forever and ever amen.

You made an early generalization and assumption that you could not learn it. Therefore your brain, from that state of pain did not try to remedy the situation because it was already in a defeated mode.

Large emotional trauma often causes you to make generalizations and assumptions about yourself, others, or situational outcomes. These give you an unstable foundation for anything you endeavor because you feel you “already know” how it’s going to end.

With this subconscious end goal in mind, everything seen underneath that umbrella would be like water off a duck’s back- completely forgotten from jump. The generalization has it labelled in brain memory as “not important” and “not useful” and “not worth the effort.” Therefore you forget it instantly.

A concrete present example of this is in school or at work when you have trouble learning newer things just because of your anxiety about it being “new.”

From these residual thoughts, it becomes very hard for you to grasp new ideas, concepts, or perspectives.

Get into it [Probing questions]

How do you feel about math? Write out 4 words to describe about how you feel about math now. Think about your earliest memories of math. Write out 10 feelings about the memories you had way back then. Think about the people and situations that caused you to feel those emotions about math. Write some of them out. Are these three things correlated? Of course this is something different, but it will get you into the right headspace.


I know you are doing the best you can but………

The more you don’t resolve, work through, and forgive both parties for the painful traumatic memories you hold inside, the more it will continue to affect your present, and the way your past influences your present.

These emotional traumas are affecting your memory of immediate situations, emotional processing of current events, and even the way you learn new things.

Working to process and let go of these emotions to where they no longer cause you pain will not only give you mental clarity like never before, but also an ability to approach life from an even and secure foundation.

Growing pains are temporary, but inner peace and contentment is permeant.

Much peace, love, and happiness.


4 unmistakable signs and feelings that your personal emotional trauma needs healing

So many say if they can’t see something it is not real.

They scour for concrete evidence to support any claim they come in contact with.

While in the era of the internet this is a viable claim, when it comes to nonphysical things, since it doesn’t meet those requirements, many tend to sweep them under the rug as not valid.

Emotions specifically, since each individual has their own, are labeled consciously and subconsciously as not real or dismissed as being ‘too much’ to handle.

“Get over it!” they tell you. People often don’t want to deal with others emotions because they have the possibility of conflicting and releasing their own.

But the thing is that, denying something is real does not make it not so; especially when you can run away from everything but yourself.

Dismissing large emotions, does not make them go away. It just begins a pile of festering, rotting emotional wounds that can never get healed without mending. The infected pus will leak into all areas of your life unless you nurse them.

There are two main architypes of emotions. All of them matter, and each has their purpose, but how they are handled is different.

Passing funks and unnecessary moods Emotional mountains (surrounded by smaller hills and valleys)
Response to immediate surroundings

Immediate stimuli and response

Coverups to other issues


Internal/External Programming reactions

Beliefs that stem from memory roots

Emotional programming responses to similar situations


But what if it’s hard to tell the magnitude or depth? What if your judgement feels so clouded you have no idea what it going on?


But what to be honest about?

Since we live in homes and social settings that discourage uncovering root emotions…. how do we know those traumas that shape us are real? Honestly?

To demystify this process and kickstart your healing journey, you are about to learn 4 signs that your emotional traumas are in fact real. And require real attention and healing.


  1. Did it change how you see yourself?

Memories of massive emotional weight and trauma change the subconscious and conscious value and self image. When you uncover this memory, whatever it is, think of all of the things you felt at that time, just for a moment. Next think of why that memory stuck with you, and what you believe it taught you about your true self. Relate it to how you treat yourself in everyday living. If you see remnants and pieces of conclusions from that situation, in everyday life……it’s real.

Get into it [Probing Questions]

In 7 words, describe yourself. Write them down. Why did you choose those 7 words? Write that too. Think about a situation in your life where you exemplified this word. While this might be for good things, it will get you into the process of undercovering the bad situations it necessary.


  1. Changes how you see others

Saying things like ”I hate people.” “People make me sick,” “People don’t care about you!” and the infamous “People are out to get you.”

Where did it come from specifically? And before you say someone told you that, words don’t teach, experience does. So that means something had to happen to you for you to start internalizing that belief also.

Did the experience in mind jade your view of how other people think, and most importantly how other people relate to you? Find out if there is an innate belief somewhere that is a baseline for how you treat other people and how they in turn treat you.

If that situation changed people into pawns, villains, or even angels of salvation. Your trauma is real.

Get into it [Probing Questions]

Think about how you feel about people you don’t know. Not friends, not family, not acquaintances, just random people with a different background than you. If someone were to ask you to give them a cup of ice cream you just purchased, how do you envision the average person would react to that? Whatever the reaction is what is your support to that claim?


  1. Changes how you problem solve

Some situations in life will hit you on the blind side. These situations knock you over and try to shatter your routine. But do you let them? Sticky situations tend to stick you in them no matter what, sometimes when you’re not even involved. Do you take a chance to survey all perspectives before reacting, or do you jump back at the first thing that jumps at you?

Whatever that answer is: why do you do that? Do you feel people are disrespectful to you? Are they attacking you? What do you think it the best way to stop this from happening now and long term?

If there is a memory that changed your immediate and long term reaction to obstacles and problems, as well as how you handle similar situations, that trauma is 100% real. And thriving in some cases.

Get into it [Probing Questions]

What is some random drama in your life? Make sure the drama does not involve you directly. The drama could be with anything from people, to rent, to school, to relationships, anything. What happened in that situation? How do you view the entire situation beginning and end? If you were involved instead, what would you have done differently? This will get you in the mindset to do so for yourself.


  1. Changes how you eat

Food is supposed to feel good, taste good, and fuel your body and mind. Science shows that foods ingested have a profound effect on the mind’s hormonal health and clarity. The mind of course chooses what foods will appease it and the body simultaneously. See what I’m getting at here?

Most often when you are in a space of pain or confusion, and your self worth is down, you want to eat things that trigger certain happy hormonal responses, or that remind you of certain comforting emotion or memory. This would help you get through your currently unpleasant situation.

While there is nothing wrong with eating for comfort, but there must be a balance. But most times when you are in the throws of emotional unrest you often choose perceived ‘comfort’ food over more nutritional foods that can comfort and heal as well as taste good.

Sometimes you can find yourself so emotionally drained that whenever you eat, you have no thought to the value of your health, the consistent damage on your body, or even fueling your mind.

If this is happening to you, emotional trauma and confusion you are feeling is completely real and indirectly causing you to harm yourself further.

Get into it [Probing Questions]

What foods would you eat everyday if you could? No judgement, just be real. Why do you love that food? What are memories with that food in them? How do you physically feel after eating that food? Be honest. Is the pleasure mostly physical or mental when you eat it? Take this as far as you will, but with this line of thought you will begin to correlate emotions with certain types of food.



In an era where everyone has a judgmental opinion, you should never have one about yourself. Approach yourself with tenderness and gentleness, not in order to baby yourself, but in order to grow.

If your inner child is broken, bashing yourself over the head is not going to bring the pieces back together. You wouldn’t do that to a real child. So don’t do it to yourself.

And most importantly do not seek coddling and nursing from others until you begin it for yourself. The reason for this is because no one knows or understands the situation the way you do, and you are the only one who can fully address it.

By your desire to heal, it already means that you can do this. Don’t worry. Just be receptive to your true self.

You might not know your true self at first, but it comes in spurts, impulses, and inner wisdom. Trust your inner receiving, it will know the way to go.


Much love peace and happiness.