What types of life situations cause chronic unhealthy stress and toxic coping methods?

Stress is a hot topic considering everything going on.

All that, plus all the stress you’re under your job and your family.

It is quite a lot to handle and I for one commend you for doing such a great job.

We all know high levels of stress can cause physical health problems as well as emotional damage that spans long past the original offenses. But what types of things actually cause chronic stress?

In this post we will detail the 5 types of situations, from childhood or adult living, that can cause chronic destructive stress levels.

  1. Situations that cause you to doubt yourself

These type of situations make you doubt your intuition and the things you know.

The damage: Having these things happen to you erodes your self assurance and confidence in yourself. It makes you think that you don’t know what you what’s real or not real for yourself. This makes you accept what other people say and the world around you without looking to yourself to understand, make sense of things, and know what’s best for you. It teaches you to silence your inner voice and who you are.

Example: You meet your sister’s new boyfriend and he may be acting nice, but he feels like a controlling manipulative person. When you try to mention this to her, she reacts bad to you and says you’re trying to sabotage her. You know this isn’t true so you never mention it again, but his dishonesty stresses you out because you want better for your sister.

  1. Situations that cause you to devalue yourself

These type of situations make you have an bad stigma about who you are.

The damage: These type of things cause you to shun against anything that is pure and of you. Over time the thought of being yourself completely turns you off. You will just look to external sources of what you should be to tell you who you think you “are.” You will no longer want to explore the depth and innerworkings or yourself because you will view such things as frivolous or a “waste of time.”

Example: You are younger and you did drawings all the time and you wrote poetry because it made you feel super happy. You exclaim to your family that you wanted to do this all the time, but they tell you that if you do, you will have no money and therefore it will actually make you unhappy. They tell you how broke you’ll be and how you’ll have no food and no family. Immediately you associate being purely you with being externally unhappy. This becomes one of your base beliefs and you approach more and more of your life with that premise inside.

  1. Situations that cause you to be dishonest

This situations make you avert from the truth. No matter how obvious it is.

The damage: When the truth is shown to you, you will run away from it. And then most people’s next step is to get angry about it. These types of these things make you more susceptible to deception, trickery, and illusion; then they weaponize you to defend its lies.

Example: Your parents were very verbally and emotionally abusive with each other and the conflict makes you sad. Naturally you feel this all the time, but over time, they force you to be happy and keep your feelings inside. They tell you “what goes on in this house, stays in this house.” And any time you show anything but a smile, they tell you to suck it up and act like “nothing’s wrong with you.”

  1. Situations that cause erode stability

These situations make you on question those things that you need on the daily to be comfortable such as your shelter, food, money, etc.

The damage: Being in situations that erode feelings of stability make it hard for you to “settle.” It will be very hard for you to ever have peace in your environment because internally you will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. You will think at any moment the rug will be pulled from under you and you will go shattering to the ground in a million pieces. Now it is reasonable to be prepared for things, but being overly protective and irrational will damage your relationships as well as damage how you relate to the world as a whole.

Example: When you were younger, your family had problems paying rent sometimes so you, your siblings and mom moved around a lot between family members homes. Although it made you really close with your family the uncertainty of your surroundings because of money put you in a constant fear of not having it. When you get older as a result you become a workaholic, not because you enjoy your job, but because you feel you have to because you are scared of loosing your livelihood, and you feel you need work like that to be grateful.

  1. Situations that cause fear

These type of situations challenge your view of the world, or threaten to change the way you live your life.

The damage: These type of situations are potentially hideous because they are put you internally in survival mode. This severely impedes logical thinking processes and problem solving. This fear is a cancer that burns every logical center in your mind and makes you blind, ignorant, and illogical because you are in fight or flight mode.

Example: You read a newspaper that says there are “dangerous gangs” and that you should watch out for in your local area because they are “coming to destroy your home and all that you’ve built.” This statement blinds you to all logic of how to properly address this and you instead go to profile people based on the past identified people. You begin to watch people and make them feel unwelcome and disrespected. You though, see none of this because in your mind you are in protector mode and they are directly “attacking your life”.



Acknowledging these situations and their presence within your life, will not only give you your own power back, but will also help you to identify them in your future.

Acknowledging the type of effects these levels of stress can have on you will allow you to approach stressful situations with more knowledge.

You will no longer be blindsided by the anxiousness.

You will know what it is and what it can do to you, therefore you know how to process the emotions so they do not hurt your present and future even more.


Love and light to you 😊

Much love and happiness.


Published by

Mareka Belcher

Founded by Mareka Belcher an independent freelance entrepreneur and student out to help others find their own wellness and balance.

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