How do you know if your stress level and response is toxic or transformative?

Stress, like everything has a balance of good and bad.

Overall, all times are stress are meant to inspire change, but there are different levels.

The most important thing of all is to remember that it is a temporary experience that is there to serve you and not hurt you.

But that does not mean that it is not uncomfortable and painful.

The way you view your stress is the key to your victory and it’s purpose.

Understanding the stress will give you the victory.

This post will give you the feelings and indicators to look for to know weather your stress is something you can live with and pass, or something that you need to let go of to flourish.


Signs of Helpful Stress

  1. Do you feel motivated to find a solution?

This stress inspires you to stop it one day so it never has to happen again. It pushes you to a solution clearly and vividly. Here is an example:

Stress: Forgetting to pay a phone bill not because you didn’t have the money, but because you kept procrastinating.

Solution: Having a schedule in which you play bills in designated times throughout the month.

  1. Did you understand how it could benefit you in the long run?

Some stresses are “rites of passage” so to speak and can prepare you for the rigor of other things similar. This type of stress might be uncomfortable has a long term purpose.

Stress: College Class assignments converging within the same week

Solution: Do some of the assignments progressively before the week everything converges so you can focus on just getting though that week and maintain your balance and peace.

  1. Inspire compassion and understanding from you

This type of stress inspires you to have more compassion for other people and things. It does not mean you accept their actions, but it means that it causes you to be able to let go and realize certain things are out of your control. This causes you to have compassion for yourself and understand the things that are in your control.

Stress: An immense traffic jam might occur just before work, this causes immense stress and if it happens along your route, you blame yourself for going the wrong way. You blame you and you blame the traffic jam.

Solution: Accept that this is out of your control, is not your fault, and just prepare in case it happens. This calmness will reduce stress, help you to stop blaming yourself, and increase your understanding and power to those things you can control.

  1. Inspire higher standards

This type of stress causes you to want to be a better version of yourself either physically, mentally, or spiritually. It inspires you to build yourself up to be all you can become.

Stress: A translator is your dream job and it pays more than you get paid now. In order to get a certification you have to learn 3 languages, 7 classes, and get 2 certifications.

Solution: You rise to challenge and develop habits that put you along that path to both dreams: your passion and abundance.


Steps to keep momentum:

  1. Make a decision to be happy internally. The stress presented will not derail who you are or your confidence in your heart. This happiness will help you have a clearer simpler head, even if it’s only for the small things. This vibration of joy will leak all parts of your life. Even the stressful parts.
  2. Follow your intuition. Internally you know what to do to break yourself from the chains of stress and get through. Follow the impulses and inspiration you feel.
  3. Construct a life you like piece by piece, from the smallest brick. Soon after starting this you will look up and realize you have created a castle.
  4. Use Mantras/positive affirmation. Preferably say them in the mirror whenever you have time throughout the day. This will change subconscious programing that has you mentally imprisoned.

Starting off:

  • Things are always working out for me.
  • Mistakes are a stepping stone to success. They are the path I must tread to achieve my dreams.
  • I allow myself to release judgement from the past. I have no guilt and shame.
  • I have great ideas, and can greatly contribute to the world.


Signs of Harmful Levels of Stress

  1. You see no light @end of tunnel

Stress: Depression from a familial culture of abuse and emotional stunting.

  1. Can’t visualize not having problem

Stress: A narcissistic family unit that is headed by someone who seeks to extinguish your uniqueness. But you feel lost if you did not have your family due to emotional dependence and isolation.

  1. Pain is no longer being processed, just festering

Stress: An abuse relationship where you feel you are trapped. The pain that you continue to feel cauterizes and calluses you to where you start to abuse others because you are in pain.

  1. You don’t want to even try to fix it, it’s too painful

Stress: A family member was very abusive emotionally but they took care of you during a rough time. This person you love, but they continue to hurt and suppress you. Instead of realizing this is wrong, you just don’t address what they did because it’s so painful.


Steps to fix:

  1. Try to get a moment of solitude and just be for a moment. This moment will give you a moment of emotional rest.
  2. When things get rough and you feel overwhelmed. Develop a space inside yourself where you go for peace. This will keep you from reactivity and overwhelm.

But do not do this too often, because it can cause despondence and disconnection with your life with others. Use only as a method of gaining clarity.

  1. Try to separate yourself from the situation physically for a few hours, days, or as much as you can. Be one with yourself. How do these things make you feel? Be honest and open with yourself.
  2. Once you know how feel, know that by you feeling this way you have verifiable proof that whatever is going on is not right. Validate yourself in that safe space. From this space of clarity and acceptance of what is happening, think clearly: is there a way that it can be fixed? Do not judge yourself.

Tools to use in the height of overwhelm:

During the situation, the best you can do is talk to the inner subconscious you to keep you from spiraling out of control.

You can say this out loud or to yourself.

  1. I have control over how I feel, and I choose to feel at peace no matter.
  2. All experiences are helping me grow.
  3. I give myself permission to let go of what no longer serves me.


These statements will calm you in the throws of calamity and anger. From this space you will have clarity and know how to move forward.


This post will give you the power and discernment to realize certain stresses that are good, or not good, for you.

From this place you will clearly know the solution on how to move on from this place of uncomfortability.


Much love and light to you.

Published by

Mareka Belcher

Founded by Mareka Belcher an independent freelance entrepreneur and student out to help others find their own wellness and balance.

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