You feel crippled and crushed by the pain someone else caused you.
The pain feels so bad that you have the urge to reach forth in anger and strike. You now intend to cause the same pain you felt. You believe that will validate your hurt.
Loved ones, this is the exact opposite of the truth.
Hurting them will not alleviate your pain and suffering, because pain is not the solution to pain. It never has been.
Or maybe you’re more low-key. You don’t try to go out and hurt that person, you just hold the pain and hurt until it festers into resentment and anger.
Instead of lashing out, you internalize the feeling and attempt to bury them. This is equally as bad.
Lets explain the effects of both paths.
|· Does not relieve any internal pressure
· Often cause harm to uninvolved people
· Releases bad energy onto others that always comes back to you eventually.
· Makes you feel pain for causing others pain, even if they did it to you first.
· Internally makes you feel just like the person who hurt your originally
· Makes it harder to develop yourself and evolve because you are fixated on past occurrences and setbacks
|· Forces you to cover up open emotional wounds. Dividing you from alignment and peace.
· Internalized pain bleeds into other parts of your life, making everything unhappy.
· Creates a void in you that makes you feel incomplete, lost, and depressed
· Loss of energy thinking about a bad situation consciously and subconsciously.
· Past hurt blinding you to your future possibilities.
It is clear both of these paths lead to internal and external misery.
But what is next?
You. You are human just as all others. Meaning you already have the answer. You already know how to move forward.
Logically, and internally you know the next logical step is to forgive and move on. It’s the only way to stop giving away your power and grow.
The way to learn how to forgive is to understand what it is to be conscious, human, and to love.
But how do you do that? Especially if you are blinded by anger?
By seeking understanding your conscious relationship with yourself, others, and the world around you, you will open the door to your ability to forgive.
Now forgiveness does not excuse bad behavior, or mean that you just allow someone keep hurting you.
What forgiveness means it that you will accept the past, no longer give them or the situation your energy, and swiftly lovingly move on to the next step for you.
Below there are 6 ways to learn forgiveness through 6 simple exercises of internal reflection. Only by looking at yourself will you no longer see rash causes and effects; you finally see the whole picture through understanding and clarity.
By seeing the whole picture, you can use the principles of universal love and joy, to teach yourself how to forgive.
Not for them but for you, so that you can release yourself from the chains on you.
The 6 Exercises have the theoretical purpose then the exercise below to get you thinking and analyzing.
- Dishonesty, even with the best intentions, is still lying. Balance the two in yourself and in others.
Exercise: Think of a time you said softened the truth not to hurt someone’s feelings. It doesn’t change what happened, but you know you meant the best. How does that make you feel?
Mantra: I am equally honest, truthful and gentle.
- Everyone has that thing that takes them over the edge. Can you judge them for it?
Exercise: Think of what triggers you and why? How do you live with these? How do you forgive yourself if you snap.
Mantra: My past hurt will not impact my present and future.
- More often than not, some bad circumstances have great outcomes.
Exercise: Think about a time something horrible happened, but something good came at the end.
Mantra: Everything is always working out for me.
- Everyone has shortcomings, it doesn’t make them inhuman or incomplete.
Exercise: Think about all of the things you wish you could do better. Do you still accept yourself anyways?
Mantra: Imperfection does not mean incompleteness.
- Somethings can be out of anyone’s control. Learn to live with that and don’t play the blame game.
Exercise: Think of a situation you went into with best intensions, but it still didn’t work out.
Mantra: I change what I can and understand what I cannot.
- People can only enact what they are taught in most cases. Be considerate of a person’s background.
Exercise: Think of something that weighs heavy on your soul. Does it give you a bias against certain things and situations?
Mantra: My emotions and logic are equal and in balance.
Staying angry does 5 main things:
- Steals your energy
- Gives more anxiety and stress
- Pinches you off from internal love and peace
- Affects your ability to think clearly
- Robs you of your self love/value
Staying angry is hard. But forgiveness is easy! You do it with yourself everyday and you already know how to. Treat others as if they are another side to you; with care and understanding.
You, and others, are doing the best they can with what they have. They are people, not flat 2-D cardboard cut outs.
If someone is continuously out to hurt you, forgive them still because the pain inside them has to tearing them up for them to be willing to keep trying to validate their pain by inflicting it on you.
But one more thing……
Just as you forgive others, forgive yourself for
- Takes time to forgive
- Allowing the painful situation to even occur
Remember that we are all a part of each other and more alike than we are different.
Through forgiving and understanding, you and others will receive clarity and peace.
Much love, peace, and happiness to you.